"This is why I am single"

I like twisting things around. I love that. Jesus and the velociraptor? Most brilliant mix ever! It just does not make any sense by normal standards! That's what I am talking about. So I took this night, twisted it around to get something out of it and actually get something I believe is meaningful. I turned what should have been another night of heavily drinking and no relevant outcomes to a night of some importance and equally satisfying binging.

Motivation: Lately, I've been lonely. I participated in a club entry giveaway and I happened to be the winner with open bar until 1 a.m. Pretty neat if it weren't for the fact that that's what I do twice a month anyway, so the prize was more the excuse to roll over the bed and do something on a Friday night I had totally decided to spend in the company of cathartic T.V. shows and smoke. I went to the bar, by myself of course because I AM SINGLE. Generally, I believe I am a keeper. There must be others like me who might not be able to find a partner for injust reasons. Let's find out.

The facts: I was getting bored by 11 p.m. The rum was pretty tasty and the people seemed to be willing to have a good time, but I was still reluctant to have any fun. It is way harder when you are in the club by yourself just drinking at the bar and fishing for the conversation of a stranger. I've been wanting to write about how I feel, so I thought that hey! maybe some other people are here by themselves feeling the same. I waited for them to show up, and as they proved to exist, I started my little game.

The method: Patience was the first ingredient. I waited for the bar to fill out, spotted the few people that were obvioulsy too good loking to be single, and fell on them with questions about ther private life. I would come to them, introduce myself and tell them that I only meant to take away 2 minutes of their time. I managed to talk to 7 people and no one said they were not willing to participate. Alright, after smiling charmingly and making eye contact for proper understanding ( a risk you take when the music is so loud and talking to the ear proves being way more useful) I asked 3 basic questions:

1- Are you single?
2- Why do you think you're single?
3- If you had a complaint about the Costa Rican gay scene, what would it be?

Surprisingly, everybody wanted to talk! I ran into a straight guy by accident, but hey! he directed me to his gay friends so it was all good.

The figures: 6 of the seven good looking guys were single. While only one of the five (and the oldest) declared he was single because it was his intention to be so, the other 5 guys wanted to blame it on circumstances. "Guys over here are too divas/queen/superficial" would be all of them's complaint. 5 of 7 times I asked the third question just to make sure they meant it, but by asking question 2, the reasons to be single were flowing. Most of people would just continue the point they tried to make by answering question 2.

Findings The fact that 5 out of 7 guys suggested that the scene was way too stereotypical worries me. 5 out of 7 guys said most of people were shallow. This is a common complaint I hear in not so attractive guys, but fairly good looking guys saying the same??? I believe there's a predisposition in people who have been in many relationships just to give up on love altogether and accept that the scene is just for sex and temporary fun.

Here's when I get on my soapbox: Parameters. Clichés. Repetition.We all need to come to terms on what's shallow. Most common complaint, yet there's no agreement on what it encompasses. Well, if you are good looking and strictly look for good looking people, does that count as shallow? If you are way too interested about style, fashion, and clothes... Would that be shallow too? If all you seek for is fun without comitment, would that be also considered as a shallow, light way to take things? The question of what's not being shallow confuses me even more. I believe that if you don't like the way something is, you stand up and change it, right? Not in this context, apparently.

Conclusion: Look at that! All of us belong to the funny category of idealists. We believe something must be a certain way, so we tend to reject behaviors that could destroy our ideal of "happiness". There has to be a detailed description of "good" in your head for something not to be "good enough." Single, mostly not by choice but by imposition. I have to say that's exactly how I feel. I love being single, but deep inside I believe society has to be wrong to let someone like me be out there not taken. I started this blog entry adamant of the scene's guilt in all this, but as it turns out, I think now the problem is that I have false expectations of what the environment can provide, then there! We all must be right and we might be defeated on that one right from the start. What a shame!

I want to highlight this: if you don't like the way something is, you stand up and change it, I repeat. It is just not clear to me what I can do to change the tide. What to do, what to do? Well, as so many blog entries, this one has no tangible result and just helped me putting my thoughts in written form.

Special thanks: I'd like to dedicate this entry to a certain French boy. All the inspiration comes from him. I mean, it is thanks to him not acknowledging that we should be together that I have to go through all this.